Life is full of difficult decisions. And a lot of them demand that you put on your grown-up pant and cut through and stick to whatever decision you make. Moving with three toddlers was one of them.
29th of March we left the farm and moved to the apartment. I had my third boy in three years (and two months, to be accurate) on the 21st of February. During labor I lost three litres of blood. So it’s safe to say I was a bit exhausted.
Hubby and dog were already in place and there were friends and family waiting for us to arrive. Everybody was looking forward to us moving back to where I spent my teenage years. Except me.
I did my best to stay positive. And prepared to embrace the ‘easier life’ I was promised. Little did I know of how this would be the toughest year in my life (so far, at least).
The year passed. I’m on a sick leave. My eldest doesn’t seem to have autism. It was an evolving form of epilepsy. To be honest, I would rather deal with autism (without saying that it is easier. I know it’s not. But then I did not have to cope with my son having a seizure where he could die. Or worse, his brain function leaves town without taking the body as travel companion).
Well .. after paying two morgages and using a crazy amount of money on that, covid-19 hit us all and we decided to move back and sell the apartment instead.
Some say that when the parents are happy, the kids are happy. But … As I had the worst year ever. My two eldest boys in kindergarten have had the best year. The staff was extremely proffesional and well educated. My eldest had almost no ecperience with stigmatism (because of focal seizures). And my middle son had developed a deep friendship with a several of the other kids.
And that’s exactly my concern.
They will of course get friends again. But where the farm is located, there is the same number of inhabitants as it is half a square mile around the apartment. So will they be as good friends as the ones they have today?
It is really hard to take my boys out of a life they love and the people they care for. At the same time, I think they will appreciate, in the long term, that we didn’t use all our savings just to stay in the apartment. I hope.
So, the decision of moving back to the farm was a tough decision. And a decision with mixed feelings. Only the future knows if it was the right decision. Fingers crossed!